A winters tale.......

All cricketers know that the winter months always drag on horribly. The nights seem to be dark from September 1 right till the middle of April, the temperature drops to the point where even the most hardy P.E. teacher begins to consider a pair of trousers, and suddenly the roads are so full of cars that going out of your house becomes a complete chore.

Is it any wonder that once the light returns to the afternoons, that each year there are less and less cricketers scurrying into it in a vain attempt to warm their now emfeebled and horrifically plump bodies? Many reasons for this decline have been mooted, is it because the population are getting older and giving up the game? Is it because people are getting so morbidly obese that they can no longer trot a single where once they would have picked up a casual three? Oh no, these reasons are mere contrivances when considered against the actual reason. Wave after wave of cricketers are being affected mentally by Seasonal Affected Disorders of varying seriousness. These disorders range from the opening batsman that can no longer leave the house without checking that the light in his lounge is turned off 74 times (no more, no less) and is therefore unable to make the start of any game. To the genial off spinner that has gone steadily barmy from day after day of not seeing the sun, before finally snapping and going out one dark morning on a terrifying gun touting rampage, causing thousands of pounds worth of damage to local business and seriously injuring several innocent bystanders.

These types of extreme occurances are understandably rare (although up by 12% last winter due to England losing the Ashes in spectacular style) although the problem of SADS is an altogether more real threat to cricket.

Here at Leigh-on-sea, the winters are just as long as everywhere else in England, and although the warmth of Mariners and SS9 play their part in easing us through the dark days of winter (and the incomparable charms of the girls in reflex keep Stephen Elliott going week on week) a summer of cricket has the same kind of guilty pull to us as seeing scantily clad celebrities gyrating on Strictly Come Dancing.

Many cricketers have ways of avoiding the asylum however, little time wasters that allow the mind to refocus on things away from the cricket field. As the 2007/08 winter is now in full swing (cricket season is at T minus 121 days and counting), The Voice has asked some of the Leigh on Sea players how they are getting through the winter so far and here is what they said!



David Catchpole: I have taken on a particularly demanding medical degree, I am looking to better myself by giving something back to the community with my new skills. As an added bonus; if Lash breaks down at a game, I can offer (almost) top notch treatment of any potential fetlock injury.

Jon Threadgold: I have started my own pet sanctuary

Mark Nattrass: An eccentric Chocolatier moved into the area and, despite the potentially prohibitive dress code and the fact I am 7 foot taller than the rest of the workforce, I have disguised myself well enough to get a manual labour job at his new factory.

John Monk: I bought myself a dog

Alex Camp: I stalked major sports stars and then posed for slightly seedy looking pictures with them (in a nasty pink jumper)

Lee Willson: I spent the winter in hospital after telling Stuart Elliott “Seriously though Stu, I think Sean would make a better first team captain than you mate”.

Stephen Elliott: I started a family

All of these players have got through the winter unscathed, well apart from Willson of course. He will be back living only for his cricket come the first game (well maybe not the first game but once it gets sunny again he will return) as will all those of you who fill the winter with mind exercising tasks!!

Don’t let the winter get you down!! Cricket is almost back!!



The Voice