Saturday 11th May

Chelmsford 248-9d

Leigh on Sea 135 ao

A sun drenched Chelmer Park played host to the travelling Leigh on Sea 3rd team this week. Early pre-game talk had centred very much on selection issues with a total of four second team players from last week dropping down into the thirds including last years Batsman of the year Richard Stubbington 'Stubbo'. Third team captain Denis Freeman was in a very positive frame of mind saying before the game that he felt he had "a dizzying blend of youthful exuberance and a few wise heads to keep things steady" (he didn't mention the one perfectly round head in his side, but this was taken as a minor oversight on his behalf).

Ten members of the team arrived promptly and went about the pre game warm up and catching practice drills, Steve Brown however had decided that this was not for him. After being late getting to the meet, his navigator had decided to leave in another car. After an anxious twenty minutes wait and with Brown stamping his carbon footprint onto half of Chelmsford trying to find the ground, he finally appeared at the correct ground a mere ten minutes before the start of the match. After a change so fast even Superman would have been impressed, he was just about ready to walk onto the field with the rest of his team mates.

In the heat of the afternoon, early breakthroughs were vital and Dave Archer and Neil Attwood were able to provide them. In fact, in the early going the game looked very much as if Leigh were in the ascendancy as the opening bowlers shared out 3 wickets between them. The only thing that went wrong early in the game was one off target throw from Aaron Kerner, which caused him to let fly with a fantastically violent expletive which caused many passing mothers to clamp their hands over their children’s ears lest they hear anymore such language from the new 'Gordon Ramsey' of Leigh.

Unfortunately this would be the last positive from a Leigh perspective for quite some time, as the middle order of Chelmsford set up shop and starting flogging the Leigh bowling. First change bowler Dirty Den was hit out of the attack after just 3 overs, with deliveries being helped round to the leg side and leaving Denis with bowling figures that can only be described as dirty. At the other end Mafioso kingpin John Elliott was keeping the Chelmsford batsman under a degree of control, using a variety of flight, guile and the pervading threat of 'a sound kicking' later. Ramsey was brought into the attack to add a bit of vim to proceedings and after a tricky opening few overs quickly got into his stride. Alas as Kerner found his stride, so did the Chelmsford batsman, and John's previously tidy bowling figures began to take the kind of beating he normally asks Pete Luker to dish out to people 'disrespecting the family'. The batters had now found their feet and it suddenly began to look as if a big score was on the cards. They pushed on past 150 with ease and when Alex dropped a skied chance off Elliott's bowling, it seemed as if it wasn't going to be a Leigh day. The onslaught continued but Leigh caught a break as one of the batting protagonists had to retire hurt with a muscle strain on about 70, although as Alex Camp pointed out, the only thing he really looked like he had been pulling was the Leigh bowling.

With one of the danger men out of the way Dave Archer starting hauling the away team back into the game and he dismissed two Chelmsford batsmen quickly as the other main run scorer moved toward a hundred. By this point John's bowling figures were also moving quietly nearer to the three figures, but he was able to take the wicket of his main foe, via a sharp piece of fielding off a well hit straight drive, turning and running the non striker out for 99. Archer then ripped out the lower middle order with ease as Chelmsford moved past 200. The retired batsman then annoyingly rejoined the fray late on and succeeded in further dampening Leigh spirits. He had his middle stump knocked over by the Spanish Archer who ended up with a 7 for, and also made sure The Don finished with bang on 100. Chelmsford declaring their innings closed on 248-9.

The captain notified the main protagonists of their respective positions in the batting order once all had assembled in the Chelmsford tea room/greenhouse, and before too long the troops were back outside preparing to resume battle.

The fine figure of a man that is Richard Selfington had barely recovered from what he had found to be a very tiring fielding stint, his spherical head being thoroughly cooked by the sun. He decided to answer his captain’s call (mainly because he had openly campaigned for an opening bat spot before the game) and opened the innings with Alex 'Lord Vaughan' Camp. Out they strutted, with 248 runs already made on the track and the sun still warm in the sky, all Leigh thoughts were of getting off 'to a flier' and hauling in the Chelmsford total. Captain Denis applied a devastating curse on his side by being heard saying "This is the best batting line-up this side has had for years" before a ball had been bowled and it was not too long before his words were being used against him. The first over in fact brought the first wicket for Chelmsford. A good ball found the very thinnest of edges from Alex and behind to the keeper. The edge was so thin that Mike and Richard Stubbington 'Stubbo' at the other end did not hear it but Alex had and before he had time to compose himself and walk off he was being surrounded by hyped up Chelmsford fielders. After realising that he had not been given by Green, Alex decided to be honest and take the walk of shame through the now thronged masses of the Chelmsford slip cordon.

Next batter up was number 3 Jon Threadgold, joining Selfington at the crease. Leigh were off the mark at the start of the next over with a blooped drive looping through the vacant point area to get Stubby 2. The Chelmsford bowling was sprightly and the ball was moving through the air and off the pitch, and before Rich had advanced his score, his chances of getting an eye catching total evaporated quicker than spit in the Sahara, and his stumps were unceremoniously rearranged by the other opening bowler. Brown was lurking at number 4 and came out to steady the Leigh ship. With the ball still whipping around both batsman were struggling to knock the ball around effectively and a period of attritional warfare took place with neither team wanting to give any ground.

It was Chelmsford again that broke through enemy lines and despite Threaders crease occupation he was dismissed for 3. The embarrassment of having to walk away from the wicket was not helped by Jon attempting to bang his glove against his leg, but only serving to throw the aforementioned protection back behind himself toward the celebrating Chelmsford fielders. He had to stop, turn and go back for his glove. Painful to watch. Paul Morgan arrived at the crease looking ready to go and proclaiming that his pads were "feeling good today!” The expected drop in the standard of bowling had not really materialised and both first and second change were still getting the ball to move around and make it tricky for both batsmen.

Brown was beginning to find his touch but never really looked like breaking the shackles of the bowling, whereas at the other end Morgan was looking compact but was also struggling to score quickly. The arrival of a new legspinner on to bowl heralded the end of Sheephead's innings as, after a few words from super coach Stub about the do's and don'ts of skipping down the track, he skipped down the track and mis hit the spinning ball to a fielder. AK was the next blonde to the wicket and after seeking council from Brown as to the state of the game, he settled down to 'play himself in' this process didn’t last very long as third ball he too skipped down the track, swung and missed and was sent on his way by Richard 'No phone call' Stubbington "Stubbo" for a duck.

The in form Neil Attwood was next to the crease and with the game heading the wrong way rapidly, it looked like solid defence was needed from Leigh. Neil certainly looked to supply that, even getting in the ear of the bowlers who tried to wind him up. Steve 'The Voice' Brown's innings fell apart soon after Attwood's arrival and with a hint of frustration at being stuck on 39, he hit a full toss from the legspinner straight at mid on and had to depart. With the score nudging toward 100, Billy King stepped to the crease, his ears glinting slightly in the late afternoon sun reflecting off his Pietersen-esque earring and with Leigh needing him to compile a Pietersen style innings. Reports on the sidelines from Aaron 'Stephen Hawking' Kerner were that Billy's middle name had been revealed to be Wayne, leading many to begin noticing how toned the young man's wrists seemed as he whipped the ball around out in the middle.

As the game advanced into its crucial last hour, Neil and Wayne were batting extremely sensibly, hitting the bad balls and rotating the strike frequently in probably the best partnership of the Leigh innings. Chelmsford were able to break Attwood's resistance eventually, then moved quickly to remove the wise heads of Elliott and Freeman. This left the fate of the side purely in the hands of number 11 bat Dave Archer, who needed to survive the last 4 overs to salvage a draw from the game. Discussions were had about whether he could survive, with Threadgold offering a £1 that Archer remained unbeaten. Clubman Selfington instantly took him up on this bet saying he fancied the bowling hero to be a batting villain. After a chat with Wayne in the middle, the pair clearly decided that King should face most of the bowling, as he looked in tip top form. After almost running each other out this tactic started working well until the very last over, when Dave hit the second ball away on the legside for what seemed like an easy single to get King back on strike. To the crowds amazement the pair turned for the second and Dave was then back having to face again. The rest of the team held their heads in their hands, hoping that this error would not prove to be fatal. One ball later Dave edged the opening bowler toward second slip, he leapt to his right to attempt the catch, only to shell the match winning chance. As the ball got away from him King saw a chance to get back on strike calling Dave through for a quick single. Dave however remained very much where he was and the horrible sight of both batsmen standing at one end with the ball being walked back to the other end to complete the run out and win the game.

Stubby collected his winnings and Leigh had to settle for the thought that things could only get better.